Some loose thoughts on why I dislike most transwomen

It was not always so, this deep resentment I have towards (certainly not all, but most of) my fellow mtfs. There was a time when, the only transperson I knew about besides myself, was Caroline Cossey.

Then the internet came, and I got on it, with the initial purpose of figuring out if I was transsexual, and what transition was like. Could we look passable with HRT? Was SRS Frankensteinian, or a real neo-vagina? How do I get rid of facial hair permanently? How do I train for a natural and effortless female voice?  I found all of these answers, in the trans-community.

It was a much smaller world online back then, so it was not long before I knew a lot of transwomen, and a few transmen. I went on to “come out” when I started transition, got involved with my local GLBT culture, even met some of the transwomen I knew from online BBSes and forums.

At first, things were okay. I saw us transpeople as magical. I thought we were the most beautiful and special people in the world. I was proud to be a transwoman, and to know and be friends with other transpeople. Then reality hit.

I guess it started with endless flame wars about trans-identity. Arguments over transsexual vs transgender. Arguments about “true transsexuals,” who were surgery-tracked versus nonops. Arguments, nay troll-baiting wars between crossdressers and transitioning transwomen.

Then came the (endless) parade of trans-mental health issues. And the stalking. Yes. Stalking. Both online and off. Threats. Threats of death and exposure or hints of physical violence.

All for having a strong difference of opinion about trans-issues. About stealth and passing. About being out. Or not. About presumed ‘debt’ that all transwomen owe to transwomen who ‘came before them’ and put all that transition info on the internet. About she-males and sex-workers. About Harry Benjamin standards: to follow them to the letter, or ignore them as much as possible. And one thing I learned pretty quickly is this.

We transwomen, more or less all of us, are, apparently, experts at absolutely everything. It does not matter if the transwoman is twenty years old, or forty, or sixty. Early transitioner, or middle-aged, or late bloomer. Post-o, pre-o, or non-o.

And speaking of The O, SRS itself. Those of us with a fucksocket, now apparently deserve or acquire more rights to female spaces than those of us that are still ‘penis-enabled’. Yes or no? Right or wrong? Endless dramaz to be milked from that political lolcow.

I vividly remember the (seemingly) rich thirty and forty-something year-old trannies ensconced in their lucrative IT careers, lording their ‘fast-tracked’ surgeries over the young or poor ones, claiming land-speed records for having been green-lit for SRS in a mere six months of RLT by ‘special dispensation’. The expected and unoriginal “We are more female-than-thou, for our membership into the Divine NeoVagina Sisterhood, but don’t worry hun, you’ll get there and be like us, someday,” bullshit.

Not only are we all apparently experts in all sciences, philosophies, religions and politics, but we are all leet hax. We have all studied computer science! Wtf!

Some of us on a hobby level (me), others, professionally. From game designers, to web coders, to machine coders. Hexidecimal, (which I did for awhile back in the day), BASIC and VBASIC, C, C+ C++, JAVA, UNIX, PERL, MS. vs LINUX, JAPPLE, SUN, PHP, HTML, SHTML, programmers, hackers, front-end developers, network and d-base admins. We are all expert internet sleuths and detectives. And we are all way too interested in policing and enforcing each others politics about ourselves.

Forum wars and IRC battles that I have been involved in a decade ago, caused trolling parties and counter-trolling to actually spill into real life with ‘raids’ before anyone even called them raids. Sockpuppeteering on forums, live chats and message boards. Always needing the back-up of having our voice cloned, and cloned again, for the sole purpose of overwhelming or bullying another trans person, for the lulz, or out of a wounded pride need for revenge. Not mabish at all, am I right?

I know all the dirty tricks of prolonged internet warfare with other mtf trannies.

I have had trans cyber-wars spill into my real life before. Transwomen know no boundaries when it comes to persecuting each other. Some of you have literally threatened me with harm or wishes of harm, for passionately disagreeing with you over various trans-related issues.

Then came the crash of all the people I once thought were interesting or useful in the trans-community, for one reason or another. Anne Lawrence for example, whom I once valued for her SRS info when I was trying to decide on a surgeon. Turned into a perv, a fetishist and a biological reductionist. Not to mention she is a trans sex-predator of a kind. With what she did to the female patient under her care, and the incident in person with Andrea James being common knowledge now. Unbelievable. Oh, wait.

Then Andrea James, to whom I partly owe my voice ability. So many years of fantastic resources, and the shit she pulled on Alice Dreger. Unbelievable!

One by one, transwomen in trans-communities showed me their true colors. They flaunted their maabtasticism. I’ve been subject to trannies who prey on young and early transitioners. I once had a transwoman pull a classic ‘bait-and-switch’ on me. She presented with one name, and a stolen image off the internets, that led me to believe she was only ten years my senior, and highly passable. When I met her, she was neither. In fact, she was on permanent disability for a whole suite of mental health diagnoses, not to mention she was “stuck” in transition, due to lack of funds.

About a month after I met her, we had an enormous falling-out and in due course, she tried to out me to certain people, made shit up about me, and threatened to kill me without actually using the k-word, but by inferring the level of mistake I made in “fucking with her” was going to end up in lead payback ”one of these days.” And she did in fact, own several firearms.

Then I went stealth.

I divorced the trans-community. I got what I needed from the community, by data-mining sites like Becky Allison’s space, Anne Lawrence’s dotcom, and Andrea James’ resources. I stopped hanging out with transwomen in my day-to-day life for awhile. Even those that passed. I wanted to be socialized and identified as a woman, a person, and a human being. No longer was I “proud” to be a transwoman.

And not because of anything that any gay man, lesbian woman or female-to-male transman ever did to me. But in part, because of mtf chasers, and mtfs themselves. Some of the most threatening, the most misogynistic, the most entitled, and most scary people on this planet, are male-to-female transsexuals who are active online. They always have an agenda, and with the trans-activists, you can bet that it is (at least partly) about maintaining a perfect trans echo-chamber.

The mods on trans-support sites, are some of the worst people you will ever meet. We all want to be each others poli-voice gate-keepers. Say anything that offends anyone, and it’s negative rep for you, or a permaban. Let’s not challenge anyone or rock the boat, because that is divisive!

New communities sprung into being while I was away being stealth and enjoying a break from the ‘trans-community’. Places like JDR’s forums, True Selves, Susan’s Place, and a massive blogging community. The population of my dear sisters, continues to grow and grow.

I come back to check out the state of the online trans-community, after an eight year break from it. It is the same shit, different day. Different transwomen, to be sure. But, the same trans-bullying and infighting going on. The same vendettas for having a difference of opinion. Only, now, there is more of you, than there used to be. You all (or nearly all) do the same shit, the same tactics, that the older models did, ten-plus years ago!

Nothing has changed but the platforms we use and the codes we program in! The derangement and stalkerificness and absolute hatred and desire to pursue, expose and oppress, those of us with different views from the accepted Trans Party Line, is the same as it ever was! Only now, there is way more of you.

Transwomen are the worst boundary-crossers. They just do not know when to quit. Nor when enough is enough. They do not seem to get how doodly and maabtastic this makes them come across. How it really outs them as barging and entitled penetrators and socialized violators. When I get targeted for trans-discussion for my views, you guys talk about me, the same way the last generation did, when we argued, a decade ago! Nothing new there.

Really, what it comes down to is, transwomen who consider themselves ‘activists’ are out and proud. Not that there is anything inherently wrong in that, but it is what you are saying about yourselves, about us, about me by extension and inclusion into the same group, that pisses me off. It’s not just what you say, it’s how you say it, that, as Miska of Fabulous Fab Matters once famously explained, outs you as a guy, (or trans flaunting maab entitlement) that makes me not just pissed-off, but angry. Really angry.

The people who responded negatively to me in my MWMF exclusion thread. Don’t think I don’t despise every single one of you. And I know. I frakking know, from having seen your pics on flickr or YT or whatever, that most of you would out me as a trans if you could, or thought you could gain something from it, or wanted to harm me through doing so. And I know. I frakking know, that you same people would out me as a trans in person, in public, by your less-than-stealth appearance, and that I would not hang out with you, for that reason. Because I don’t like being discriminated against very much, and your presence, and your horribly lacking fauxfab socialization skills and lack of psychological passing ability ensures it will happen to me, sooner or later.

It’s called being clocked by association. I’ve experienced it before. It cost me a job once, and another time, it cost me a nice apartment I was going to share with a college-going wbw my own age, when both my would-be roommate, and my new landlady, clocked my friend first, and then me (!), and didn’t want either of us there! Totally understandable!

Also. Your voices all suck (most of them). I can’t believe how few of you actually put in an effort, and end up with a passable voice. I am mortified actually, to listen to people like Sideways and Zinnia on Youtube. I can’t listen for more than a minute without my brain almost exploding in disgust and frustration.

The transwoman who was blocked by a security guard at McDonald’s for being a guy and not a woman and videoed by her friends? She had a doodly voice, and her outfit didn’t help her either. She looked like a total crossdresser in that video. I am not saying what the guard did was right, but I am saying that learning to blend in, dressing age and class and environment appropriate, studious gender performance mimicry and a female voice will go a long ways towards ameliorating any suspicion you might be trans. And why should we worry if we are “clocked” for being trans? For the very same reasons that were perfectly demonstrated in that video!

And the comments that came after that video:

This security guy needs charges of hate crime brought against him for continually refering to her as (Him and HE)! Not sure what the law makes of that over there. If it was here I would have reported his transphic hate bullying to the police. That is if I held it together long enough not to knock him spark out!

BroxieRothwell 1 month ago

THIS SECURITY GUARD SHOULD DIE HE IS AN IGNORANT MAN HES A BAD EXAMPLE FOR EVERYONE WHATS HIS FACEBOOK IMMA TELL IT TO HIS FACE:::HE SHOULD DIE::::THAT FUCKIN UGLY MAN SHOULD DIE BULÖLSHIT

hitomi2232 1 month ago

I hope someone murders that security guard !!

Qlassy 1 month ago

ALL THREE OF THOSE COMMENTERS ARE TRANSWOMEN. TRANSWOMEN WHO BELIEVE THAT DEATH (or assault) IS A MEASURED AND APPROPRIATE RESPONSE FOR (get this) RESTROOM DISCRIMINATION AND DEGENDERING.

Guess what? You are doing activism WRONG. And. You outed yourselves!

Some people are so frakking stupid! They try to initiate online attacks, wish death and sickness on people in online spaces, cyber-stalk and harass people they have an online disagreement with, and yet they leave their places of residence up, their flickr streams, their places of employment, their FB profiles, their blogs (all filled with vanity pictures!) and think this is not going to come around and bite them in the ass! Or that it wouldn’t (or shouldn’t) be their fault, if their own hatred, narcissism and need to prosecute “righteous vendettas” online and off of it, are in fact held against them. Or more insanely claim that, their online stalker activities do not represent how they “really are” in real life!!! Give me a break!

No, I don’t have a problem with ftms. Heck, I have actually had less issues with those that identify as crossdressers or non-transitioning transgender, than I have had with my actual transsexual sisters. And there are new cancers killing trans these days. People like Zoe Brain, whom I have now seen and collected evidence against, of this individual literally running their mouth online about their nonexistent intersexed condition, trying to set radical feminists ‘straight’ on brain-sex and gender, FOR FOUR FRAKKING YEARS!

So, between the Hexy debacle, and his inability to stop posting on my blog when I said stop, to Zoe Brain’s internet infection and love of lying and being seen in online discourse EVERYWHERE, to finding and reading the group-think on True Slaves and Snowflakes Place. To the terrible people who run the TS-SI site, to JDR, Sideways, and others like them, to Andrea James’ misogyny and Anne Lawrences perv behaviour, to Aeryn Fulton’s death threats, I have had it with trans women! Just had it! I really and truly dislike most of you. And you did these things, all by yourselves, of your own volition!

I do hang out with a few transwomen in my life, on occasion. They all share the same qualities. You might be amazed to know that their surgery statuses, are not relevant to me. What matters is:

• They are all passable, voice included.
• They are all professionals.
• They are all free of mental illness, mental health labels and are not in treatment for any mental health problem.
• They are all within my age group, plus or minus five years.

And none of them are trans-activists.

I do not hang out with young transitioners (even though I was one myself, once upon a time), and I do not hang out with late transitioners. It seems to me like the ones that try to make every effort at stealth, and the ones who have no pretensions to being ‘activists for change’ on behalf of all of us transpeople, men and women alike, are generally the most personable, easier to get along with, less threatening, and more socially passable.

I guess, part of my bitterness is because I do love all of you. I want things to be better, and some of you people are frakking it up for me. You have to grow up someday. You have to see and own up to your maabtasticism. You have to stop demanding and insisting wherever you go. Stop invading. Stop raiding. Stop hating any of us that don’t go along with your self-obsessed sociopathy. Stop being so into trans-on-trans violence. Just give it a rest. Please.

The things I see you people post on the internets. The BWAAA!!!, the lies, the psychopathology, the stalkerificness, the Speshul Snowfwakiness inherent in any trans that wants to come set me straight on my views, by telling me what views I am supposed to have. You are the cancer that is killing trans, and there is apparently no end of replacement models of your kind, coming down the transition-pipeline.

The fundamental difference of ideology and activities between me and “my peeps” and you and “your peeps”, is simply this:

I transitioned to live as a woman, not a trans-woman. My adult career achievements as Plastic Girl reflect that! And more importantly, being “twanz” is not what I wanted to be when I “grew up.” It was not my dream to be a protected minority, or someone classified by their alleged birth-defect or mental problem, or identified by their surgeries e.g. “Hi, I’m Catherine the post-o penis-inversion survivor.” I just wanted to be a woman.

There is no advantage in being “out and proud to be a trans” to me. None whatsoever!

And the company I would be in if I did, is YOU PEOPLE. The Anne Lawrences, Andrea James’, Jennifer Diane Reitz’s, the Jessica Sideways, the Brendas, the Hexydezimals, the Aeryn Fultons and Zoe Brains of the world, whom I despise, for your misogynistic, trans-censuring, trans-bullying, group-thinking, predatory and-or clueless and threatening maabtastic behavior, online and off it.

I really used to think we were magical and beautiful. Now, after ten-plus years of seeing transwomen wield their maab entitlement like a giant dick, and trying to bash their way into inclusion with this maab dick, because “we are real women™ damn you! And you “cis” people must all accept this to not be guilty of twanzphobiaisms,” I know better.